MARK TWAIN

what would you give to have your life restored?" He
wouldn't give a brass farthing.

The American characteristic is Uncourteousness. We
are the Impolite Nation. In this detail we stand miles and
miles above, or below, or beyond, any other nation savage
or civilized.

We are called the Inventive Nation—but other nations
invent. And we are called the Bragging Nation—but other
nations brag. And we are called the Energetic Nation—-
but there are other energetic nations. It is only in un-
courteousness, incivility, impoliteness, that we stand alone
—until hell shall be heard from.

The black savage whom the Boer has driven out was
brimming over with good nature and comradeship and
friendliness, and he was the cheeriest soul, and had the
easiest life in the world; and it was always on tap and
ready. He went naked; he was dirty; he housed himself like
a cow; he was indolent; he worshipped a fetich; he was a
savage, and all his customs were savage; but he had a sunny
spirit, and at bottom a good disposition.

He was replaced by the Boer, a white savage, who is
dirty; houses himself like a cow; is indolent; worships a
fetich; is grim, serious, solemn, and is always diligently fit-
ting himself for heaven, probably suspecting that they
couldn't stand him in the other place.

At billiards Carlyle Smythe beats me to death—by fluk-
ing. Now I have ruled fluking out, neither beats the other
more than five points in a hundred. We count a fluke, but
retire. We make the same number of flukes in each game,
but the trouble before was that he generally piled three
flukes on top of the first, but I never could.

It was his habit to make new rules driving
billiards: Sometimes a rule for some special shot.
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