MARK TWAIN it comes about in a natural way, and happens just as it would happen in actual life. Swore off from profanity early this morning. I was on deck in the peaceful dawn, the calm and holy dawn. Went down dressed, bathed, put on white linen, shaved— a long, hot, troublesome job, and no profanity. Then started to breakfast. Remembered my tonic—first time in three months without being told—poured it in a meas- uring-glass, held bottle in one hand, it in the other, the cork in my teeth—reached up and got a tumbler— measuring-glass sprang out of my fingers—got it, poured out another dose, first setting the tumbler on washstand —just got it poured, ship lurched, heard a crash behind me—it was tie tumbler, broken into millions of frag- ments, but the bottom hunk whole—picked it up to throw out of the open port, threw out the measuring-glass in- stead—then I released my voice. Mrs. C. behind me in the door: "Don't reform Any more, it isn't any improve- To the smoking-room—an interminable trip through a dark tunnel to the second saloon—a lady showed me the way—up two flights along canvas-roofed deck, a dart across the bridge, a spring through a ray of rain for the smoking-room door—made it without catching a drop— slipped on a grating and fell sprawling on the swimming deck—the reform interrupted again. 268