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claque. Not a half-hearted claque, but a brave one—a
claque which will not allow itself to be disturbed.

For several reasons. To begin with, ladies are cowards
about expressing their feelings before folk; men become
cowards in the presence of ladies. Here then is what you
are to expect: Your first piece goes well—the men forget
themselves when they applaud. Consequently you go at
your second piece with good heart, and do it well. This
time, the applause has an undecided flavor about it; the
men have not reasoned that it was the ladies who failed
to support them when they applauded before, they have
merely noticed that the support was lacking. After that
they are afraid, and a dead silence follows the third read-
ing. You are as exactly equipped now for the fourth piece
as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over you. If
you are wise, you will now tear your audience all to pieces
with a roaring anecdote, then say you are smitten with a
killing headache, and dismiss them, for no man can read
or talk against unresponsiveness.

The Elmira Reformatory contains 850 convicts, who
are there for all manner of crimes. People go there and
lecture, read, or make speeches, and come away surprised
and delighted. They can't understand it. They have aston-
ished themselves by the excellence of their own perform-
ance. They can't remember to have ever done so well
before. Afterwards, they always say that for a splendid
audience give them a houseful of convicts; it's the best
audience in the world. They puzzle and puzzle over it and
are not able to get away from the apparently established
fact that an audience of convicts is the most intelligent
and appreciative in the world. Which is all a mistake. The
whole secret lies in the absence of ladies. Any 850 men
would be just as inspiring, where no dampening female
person was in sight, with her heartful of emotions and her

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