MARK TWAIN
Now the captain inquires—"What you got for us?"
"Nuiliin^1!"
The railroad has done it. Used to carry loads of harvest
hands; now they have invented a self-binder and don't
have harvest hands any more.
Sunday, May 21, 7 A.M. Arrived per Minneapolis, at
St. Paul, and put up at the Metropolitan. Cold as the
very devil. Cold-band hat would give us ticket for a
carriage and fetch it in 30 minutes if we paid in advance	
no other way to get a carriage in St. Paul. Walked to
hotel.
Wretched poor family on boat going to the frontier—
man on deck with wagon; woman and several little chil-
dren allowed in cabin for charity's sake. They slept on
sofas and floor in glare of lamps and without covering,
must have froxcn last night.
This day, May 23, three inches of snow fell in Iowa.
Entering Philadelphia May 24, cut an Italian laborer's
foot off. The train stopped and crowds gathered to gaze.
Our tracks ought to be fenced on the principle that the
majority of human beings, being fools, the laws ought to
be made in the interest of the majority.
Punch's advice to persons about to marry—"Don't"—
was a thousand years old when Punch was born.
"No gentleman ever swears"—the obscure person who
shouts this from his pulpit, or his good goody paper, sees
no immodesty in setting himself above Wellington, Wash-
ington, etc.
Speaking of duels, I think I could wipe out a dishonor