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Fortress Monroe in the Oceanica and quotes eternally
from his experiences upon that voyage. I am satisfied that
we shall never hear the last of that voyage. He will harp
on it from here to Palestine and back again. He wears a
monstrous compass slung to his watch-guard, and con-
sults it from time to time, keeping a wary eye on the
binnacle compass to see that it docs not vary from his
and so endanger the ship. He says the most witless things
and then laughs uproariously at them and he has a vile
notion that everything everybody else says is meant for a
witticism, and so laughs loudly when very often the
speaker had spoken seriously or even had meant to say
something full of pathos. But this fellow doesn't know.
He laughs dreadfully at everything and swears it's good,
dam* good, by George. I wish he would fall in the harbor.
The innocent young man—who is good, accommodat-
ing, pleasant and well-meaning, but fearfully green and
is fearfully slow. He wished to know how long seasick-
ness lasted. He is the other extreme from "Legs"—
doesn't know anything at all. Came confidentially to me
in a private place and seemed almost bursting with an
idea—a new and dangerous guest to have about his prem-
ises. He said:
"If you had a panorama—any kind of a panorama—
one of them old ones would do—why, by gracious you
could pay your way on the ship—any old panorama you
know—but I don't think likely you could without a lec-
ture—because them Italians and A-rabs wouldn't go
much, maybe, except for the novelty, because they
wouldn't understand. But if you had an old panorama
I should think likely you'd fetch 'em."
The "Interrogation Point" of the Innocents
Abroad would seem to be a combination of these
two young men.
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